How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
