How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize