That's when you crack a 10am beer
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
