So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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