Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
