After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
