How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
