idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
