i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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