Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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