I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
