I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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