Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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