we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
