where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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