nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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