The maid of honor just puked.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
