Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
