she woke up with a sticky ear
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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