U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
