google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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