remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
