Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
