So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
