I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
