i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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