let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
