Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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