and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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