i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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