sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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