Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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