The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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