You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize