i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have aggressive nipples.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
