the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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