I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
