The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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