bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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