He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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