Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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