Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize