at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
