Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
