it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
