whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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