dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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