i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
