You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
