It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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