Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
