i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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