I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
