Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
