If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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