so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
