Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
