About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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