I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize