the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
