Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
