So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
