I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
