I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
