bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
