And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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