WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
