I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
