I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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