My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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