Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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