So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
