I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
