is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
